Sunday, January 6, 2013

Breathe right: 48 hours

Quitting effing sucks. I hate quitting. I love smoking. I love the excuse to go outside with my mancub and get a break from the kids. I hate that the kids all scream "mommy don't smoke!" as I walk out the front door. I hate that they watch me fail everytime I've tried to quit. I hate that I'm showing them that even though I talk about how bad this habit is, I still do it. It doesn't matter to the kids that I need one. It doesn't matter to the kids that I feel on edge. Hell, it doesn't even matter to them that I'm a royal bitch when I'm quitting and they end up helping me clean the entire house top to bottom. What matters to the kids is a mom they can look up to. A mom that is alive. A mom that they won't have to take care of when I'm 70 and dying from lung cancer. When it comes down to it, a year from now they will forget about how grumpy I was when I was quitting but they will remember how I quit. How I said I was going to do something and I did it. How I told them to stay away from bad things and I lead by example.

1 comment:

  1. AnonymousJanuary 6, 2013 at 12:35 PM

    You can do it! You are such an amazing mom and I think that modeling pushing through, quitting and failing and then trying again and ultimately succeeding is a way more powerful model than never starting in the first place.

    (Oh, and my grandpa died of lung cancer at 40, not 70, so don't assume you'll even live that long....as if you need any more motivation.)

    Rachael

    ReplyDelete

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)