Guys. Bleh.
Since elementary school I have not been without a relationship for more than 3 months.
It has been 7 months since I left my husband. Its starting to get a little lonely. A lot lonely. Really friggin, I'm about to name my body pillow lonely.
Yet, I have to rely on God. He is the only one that can get me through this. I don't want to just survive or cope my way through this. I want to grow, take my pain, frustrations and heartbreak and turn them into intimacy with Christ.
For a couple of months I've been chatting back and forth with a piece of man candy. He offered me understanding, a guy verbally standing up for me and saying "your husband was a fool" and made me feel like a woman and not just a mom. (For the record, we never touched). But its not right. I shouldn't numb myself. I need to face all of the pain head on...the adultery, abuse, lying, manipulation, financial strain, physical exhaustion....I don't want this waiting for me 6 months from now on the other side of some break up. So I deleted the boy from my phone and my facebook.
I'm a horrible single person but will WILL WILL be pure and continue to do what's right.
RYC: oh this is my first boyfriend,:0) And one State away, and he is taken. I'm safe LOL
ReplyDeleteI want to be 100% "fixed" before I enter another relationship.
C calls his Dad every night before he goes to sleep. Last Saturday T picked him up and they spent most of the day together. They did fun stuff like go to McDonalds and feed the ducks and stuff so I think that's why he has been asking more to see him. It's hard.
Good for you! I actually had the same issue with relationship hopping (as I called it) right up until I got married. I think your decision was wise, and I admire it. I'd like to hope that I would have the strength and wisdom to do the same thing.
ReplyDeleteIt was around the year anniversary of my divorce and the same thing happened to me. I started chatting with a guy that filled my gaping hole. Then I invited him over to meet my family and I regretted it because everyone saw it for what I did not. It was a fix. It was not health. Luckily he deleted me from his phone/FB after I would not go any further into a relationship. Now looking back that was God slamming that door securely shut in my face. I did not need that guy. What I needed was what you need too - healing, wholeness, patience.... for the real promise.
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